It has been about 11 months since I had this greymatter flatulence moment and created the concept of an international eZine. From conception to official independent launch, the amount of things I have learned is innumerable. From teasing offerings of writing and art from authors and artists, to soothing ruffled egos, I believe that for the moment, my 'wetware' is as full as it can get. It may be time to archive some of it to an external device and then - go on vacation.
In the middle of this interesting project, my husband, parrot and I have relocated to another state: also a huge undertaking considering laws vary from place to place as does culture. If my ass had grown from too much chair sitting I might understand this feeling of heaviness. But it hasn't just my big old head (or what's in it) has expanded. This should be a good sign - small ass, big brain. But no, I am wrung out, tired, and wondering if this zeppelin will keep flying or if some small thing will 'ma gavte la nata', "let the air out".
You know, they say that it's not so much the destination, but the journey that is so interesting. And in this case, I really do agree. Now that the site is up and having some visitors, I want to sort of walk away, run away, ignore and divest myself of the responsibility of keeping interest from waning.
So many things have been neglected while I attempt to make this eZine function and fly; my appearance, my house, my visual art, my writing, my sex life ... you name it and I have neglected it. And all for no pay.
Which leads me to the reality of looking for a job. Now that ScribeSpirit has launched, I kind of want to get out of the house. Between the launch of the site, my new locations improved weather and me feeling isolated, I have been looking for a job.
I am not sure what I am thinking ...
OK. So I try some of the online resume building software. Interesting. Based on the information I have loaded into the software, I am now being offered full time managerial positions with companies as diverse as Insurance and Stock Brokers, banking institutions and Carpet Cleaning franchises. All pay is much better than offered in Wisconsin and also Chicagoland (which, by the way, is undergoing a union busting party all its own). But I don't want a full time job, nor do I want a job that requires me to relocate, or to travel more than 10 miles from my home. I want a nice, tidy part time job where perhaps I might meet people now and then, where I don't feel responsible for staff. After all, I am already responsible for a staff scattered across the globe. No, a part time job would suit just fine. I do not want to have to hire help to clean my house, I do not want to eat prepared food from questionable grocery stores or go out to eat 5 days a week. I do not want the household tax status to reflect a significant leap in income resulting in larger tax payments. All of those negative points only take money OUT of the pocket, they don't help increase income one bit.
Bah! My resume looks like it's made up. Nineteen plus years of accounting/bookkeeping experience, 5 years theater administration, 5 years office administration and management, 8 years of collections experience within the framework of financing, ten years of visual arts, 20 plus years of literary arts, 15 years of design principals, and add to that the eZine credits. And I haven't mentioned education yet which is as diverse and odd as my work background.
However will I find something suited to my talents and skills and that I can live with going to do 3 days or so a week?
And do I want to?
I am learning that I can not take a vacation from the eZine right now. Nor can I ignore it for a day or two. In cyber life, a day or two without "hits" can sound a death knell for an online project. So how do I please myself and fulfill my needs while doing all the stuff I do?
I have no answer. I do wish that the brain drain I feel would go away. I wish I was inspired to paint or make something for the house. But I have artist/author block. Brain constipation. Not all at in line with greymatterflatulence.